War and peace

I know a spot in North Carolina where two rivers come together. From a high bluff you can see them moving calmly toward their meeting point, but where they converge, the waters are raging. These two strong, independent rivers ultimately combine to form a wider, even more impressive one.

A good marriage is like this natural phenomenon. One independent person meets another independent person, and they decide to merge their lives into one. The trouble begins when they try to decide which one! Actually, the answer is...neither. Like these rivers, two marriage partners become a new and separate creation— stronger, wider, more impressive—that bears the marks of both. And strong people do not join easily or without conflict, any more than rivers do.

Conflict is inevitable in any close, extended human relationship...and that includes marriage. Even good ones go through rough spots. The good news is, conflict does not have to hurt a good marriage. The difference between a good one and a troubled one is not the presence of problems, but how those problems are handled. Conflict can either become the source of greater isolation...or greater intimacy.